Censorship, Internet, London, NSFW, Satire, Sex, Violence

NSFW (Naughty Satirical Forthright Writing)

It continues to amaze me how we as a society equate displays of human sexuality with acts of unimaginably depraved violence. A movie will get an R rating if it has a scene with a dozen men having their heads chopped or blown off. A movie will get an NC-17 rating or go unrated if it shows a man performing oral sex on a woman. It is rather hilarious (I say hilarious because it is less disheartening than saying “tragic”) that we, the “most powerful nation on earth” are also one of the most prudish.

Both times when I visited London (once in 2005 for a week and again in 2009 for roughly the same amount of time) I was pleasantly surprised by the relative openness with which sexuality was treated even at a basic pop-culture level. There were stickers for escort services, strip joint, and phone sex line plastered over almost every available surface, and this was not just in the “bad parts” of the city. I saw a rather comely blonde spread eagle on a sticker affixed to a phone booth right across the street from the venerable old Victoria And Albert Museum. Guess what? The cultural artifice did not burn down due to its proximity to such “filth”. Stunning, I know. Such “enlightened” sexuality is associated with urban decay (nice little race code-word, that) or with the Sin-topias known as L.A. and Las Vegas. Hilarious that such blatant recognition of sexual urges is on display in the former capital of the largest (and supposedly most “moral”) empire of all time.

I was also flabbergasted by posters showing films that in the US would have gotten the horrid “hard R” or NC-17 for sexual content rated here in the good ol’ UK as the equivalent of a PG. And lord almighty if I wasn’t struck nearly dumb to see the latest ultra-violent summer blockbusters rated for an audience of 17+ based on their unrealistic and unrelenting violence. It seemed that the Brits would rather that their kids see a couple fucking than a couple of heads on fucking pikes. What a moral wasteland this British realm has become. And don’t forget, you can see displays of nudity and sexuality in prime time that would be considered risqué for the most ratings starved pay cable network in the states. And, oh my god, the sexuality on display is (wait for it) FAR MORE REALISTIC AND LESS EXPLOITATIVE than much of what you see on US tv shows. It’s almost as if these people had decided that human sexuality was…normal.

Of course these are just circumstantial examples but there is a reason why circumstantial evidence is often frowned upon in a court of law: it is damn convincing. For goodness sake you can walk into the British equivalent of a 7/11 and come out with a hardcore porno mag (free hardcore DVD included) along with a copy of a tabloid that has topless photos right below the fold! Again, it is almost as though this society had decided that adults could be expected to make their own choices about what they find sexually acceptable. Limey perverts.

Here in the USA I could get banned from any number of social networking sites for daring to share, say, a rather hilarious and over the top clip from a hardcore porn film. But if I wanted to post a photo of Marvel Comics Wolverine impaling a Vietnamese villager with the spine of his own godmother, well then I am just one of so many other nerds posting his favorite “graphic novel” moments for all to appreciate! Now I am not saying that violence and sexuality should be treated the same way…actually I am. I do not believe in any censorship beyond “close your eyes”, “turn the channel/refresh the page” or “replace your eyes with two tiny copies of the Old Testament”. If you do not want to see “flith” of the sexual or violent kind then it is your right to watch old Little House on the Prairie reruns on the Hallmark channel (I recommend the episode where Nellie Oleson and the hunky blonde Swedish boy run off and get married and are caught by their parents right before the underage prairie sex-fest is about to commence. Don’t believe me? Google it) but please do not ruin the Gomorrahean fun for the rest of us sinners. I want my sex and my violence UNENCUMBERED by paternalism pleaseandthankyouverymuch.

I personally would rather see a “Freewheeling Tranny MILF” get boned by an ugly fratboy with a Viagra hard-on than I would a video of Optimus Prime beating a ghetto-stereotype car-robot into submission OR a video of a child being beheaded by an Islamic fundamentalist but hey, that’s just me.  I guess my point is this: why is it considered “deviant” to enjoy wanton displays of human sexual lust and carnality but not when it comes to watching the human dog-fighting cum “legitimate sport” of MMA (again, I like both. I do not discriminate in my consumption of depravity)? Why can’t we all just be trusted as adults to watch what we want to watch where we want to watch it? And believe me, if a kid WANTS to see a Latina Lesbian Gangbang video or two grown Brazilian men beating the living shit out of each other for energy-drink sponsorships, then they will. It is called the internet, and it makes all your puny morality laws and mores irrelevant. Resistance is futile puny American puritans. Now let’s watch the latest episode of “Japanese Tentacle Rape Fun-Time America WOW” on youporn.

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