Conservatism, Conservatives

F**k Dynasty

duck-dynastys-phil-robertson

Phil Robertson of A&E’s reality show abortion Duck Dynasty has revealed himself to be a racist, sexist, homophobic christian fundamentalist prick. I am not surprised that a stupid redneck is behaving as such but it is hilarious that the right wing is now defending him and saying it “violates” his first amendment rights that he was suspended from his TV show by a private company. I thought the right was against government interference in business affairs? Guess not when they get a chance to defend a man who compared gay relationships to fucking a goat.

This “man” is a piece of shit and A&E should cancel this hot messy turd of a program. If you want to know what this idiot has actually said about Gays, Nazi Germany, African Americans and non-Christians take a look at these links

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/19/phil-robertson-black-people_n_4473474.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/18/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson-gay_n_4465564.html

Of course the usual nutjobs on the Right are defending him and calling for him to be made the new Pope (or so I assume). Sigh. The Right wing of this nation is a scary scary thing. The same people who called for Martin Bashir to be fired for his free speech are asking A&E to keep Robertson around. Hypocrisy at its finest.

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Conservatism, Conservatives, Criticism, GOP

An All in Good Fun Discussion of Erick Erickson

Erick_Erickson_by_Gage_Skidmore-460x307

By now I am sure you have seen various interviews with media commentator and professional clown porn director Erick Erickson (I am only speculating about the clown porn but I like to err on the side of caution)

Good ol’ Erick Just wanted to let the world know that wives should make their goddamn husbands a sammich right damn now because…because male baboons have bigger rear ends than female baboons…or something. I would really love to see Mr. Erickson shrunk down to the size of an insect so as to be able to give his “males are more powerful in nature” speech to a female praying mantis. “You see, the book of Acts states that women…hey…why are you eating my head? You are supposed to be subservi–”

Megyn Kelly of Fox News totally, completely and UTTERLY owned the balls of both Erickson and Lou “Smile, You’re on To Catch A Predator” Dobbs (yes, that Lou Dobbs). If you haven’t seen this beat-down I highly suggest you look it up…or i could just post it down here!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/31/megyn-kelly-erick-erickson-lou-dobbs_n_3367571.html

To be fair to Lou and Erick (and Juan Williams who was yukking it up with them on Fox News) their intellectual level is not quite up to the standard of a Megyn Kelly (who, full disclosure, is one of the few coherent, if not always correct, people on Fox); they are more the “dare me to have that 7th shot of Red Stag” type of public intellectuals.

Erickson has of course tried to back-pedal without actually moving an inch, but that is just his usual game. Whine about people whining about him and blame those damn pansy boys and feminazis on the left for not “understanding” his great white christian male angst complex. He has even taken to crying havoc and releasing the hounds of social networking: he responded to a tweet of mine today by messaging me back and reassuring me that “his wife and his sisters” agree with his misogynistic and and pseudo-scientific babble. Some one is intellectually desperate when they have to appeal to the “see, some of my greatest supporters are women/black people/latino day laborers” argument. Just another name to add to the “this is why our country is an enormous laughingstock” list. Goodnight and good luck…

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Activism, Civil rights, Civil War, Conservatism, Conservatives, Constitution, Freedom, GOP, history, Justice, Liberty

Deconstructing Reconstruction: Conservatives and Black Leadership

reconssss

It occurred to me the other day that the way many conservatives and Republicans are reacting to President Obama the same way Southern Whites reacted to reconstruction era policies and politicians. This is not a direct correlation but more a reemergence of societal and political rage that often goes unexpressed in the public dialogue. Let me explain, and it does warrant at least a cursory explanation of the Reconstruction Period. After the Civil War the Federal Government allowed for the political and economic reconstruction of the defeated south. This was meant to be achieved through Federal Government programs and spending and through Military enforcement of these policies. We must remember that what the United States government was faced with was a hostile region that had just been beaten into submission and wrecked socially and economically and structurally. I for one believe that the US government had every right to treat the southern states as conquered territories and to impose top down reformations of inherently flawed systems. This was a feudal economy based around paternalistic government, chattel slavery and a misogynistic and anti-worker social structure. The North was of course guilty of profiting from this backwards region and its inhumane systems, but they had at least allowed for a constructive conversation on how to eliminate ties with this abomination and eventually went to war to eradicate it from the national and political landscape. The South would have gone on for as long as possible keeping slaves and abusing the rights of blacks, workers and women. As long as the system was profitable and kept rich white planters and their business partners in power it would have continued.

The US government and Military overthrew the governments of the rebellious regions, abolished their unconstitutional state constitutions, and called for immediate reform and free elections. Combined with (often faltering and under-funded) attempted education of newly freed slaves and poor blacks this system of reconstruction was meant to drag the south kicking and screaming into the modern era. This approach worked for a while: state constitutions were purged of institutional protections for chattel slavery and discrimination against black citizens, black politicians were elected to statewide and federal office for the first time, black men were given the full franchise, Civil Rights Bills were passed at the federal level, and Amendments to the Federal Constitution were passed to enshrine and ensure these laws forever. We cannot overstate the revolutionary nature of these changes and the ideas that went behind them. This proved to be the final vindication of black and white abolitionists and their philosophies. The “radical” Liberal Republicans, so called by southerners and entrenched racists who had an interest in the status quo, did more than any other congress to achieve true equality for all citizens. The fact that these efforts survived for the 20 years they did in the South is amazing on its face and should be celebrated as more of a victory than it currently is in our history tomes and textbooks.

“There was one thing that the white South feared more than negro dishonesty, ignorance, and incompetency, and that was negro honesty, knowledge, and efficiency.” W.E.B. Du Bois said this over a hundred years ago and it is as true now as it was then. Replace “negro” with “anything liberal and non-white” and you have an exact explanation of the political fears of the White Christian Male power structure that still exists throughout the south to this day. In direct contradiction of what many southern authored, edited, and published history textbooks [See “Lies My Teacher Told Me” by James Loewen for more on this scholarly travesty perpetrated against American students] real scholars and firsthand accounts of history show that the Reconstruction era black and liberal legislators/legislatures were elected democratically, overwhelmingly, and were entrusted by a more diverse voting population to rebuild the southern states as a more egalitarian society. According to Mississippi legislature and former slave John Roy Lynch

 

The [Radical Republican Reconstruction] campaign was aggressive from beginning to end… the election resulted in a sweeping Republican victory. That party not only elected the state ticket by a majority of about thirty thousand, but also had a large majority in both branches of the state legislature.1

 

Men (and they were all men unfortunately; civil rights for women of all races had yet to reach critical mass at this point in the Republic’s history) who had only a few years before been considered sub-human were now entrusted with rebuilding a region devastated by a war it had brought upon itself through intransigence and widespread inhumanity towards its own residents. Lynch goes on to talk about just some of the challenge facing the new legislatures

It was also necessary to reorganize, reconstruct, and in many instances, rebuild some of the penal, charitable, and other public institutions of the state. A new code of laws also had to be adopted to take the place of the old one, and thus wipe out the black laws […] That this great and important work was splendidly, creditably, and economically done, no fair-minded person who is familiar with the facts will question or dispute.2

 

Though of course this was disputed and still is in many corners of the country where it is impossible on its face for a liberal government to make any positive change. We see this same sort of intellectual intransigence today in Tea Party and Conservative Republicans circles. They condemn the “socialist” evils of a national Federal government that is making an attempt to structure a more equitable system for more Americans. As the Southern Poverty Law Center has pointed out the levels of participation in hate groups and anti-government militias has exploded since the election of the first American President with African heritage3. This hate and irrationality has only increased with the attempt by the Obama administration and its allies to craft meaningful firearms regulation reform in the face of the many recent mass shooting tragedies in communities throughout the nation.

The Drudge Report has trotted out (false) equivalencies to the Hitler and Stalin regimes and their firearms policies. Radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones have literally screamed about coming assaults on liberty and mass death camps being used against gun owners and white conservative Christians throughout the nation. Private citizens are getting in on the irrationality by posting videos about how “the killing” will start of the government “takes away” the guns of citizens (see the spectacle of the video posted by a TN gun rights fanatic)4. With apologies to the Four Tops, this is “The same old song/But with a different meaning/Since” Jim Crow was forced out of the political scene. Just look at what was said about the black legislatures of the Reconstruction era South by contemporaries and their later “academic” apologists

 

“The southern people literally were put to the torture…[by] rugged conspirators…[who] assumed the pose of philanthropists and patriots.”— Claude G. Bowers, The Tragic Era: The Revolution After Lincoln

 

“I here declare my unmitigated hatred to Yankee rule–to all political, social and business connections with the Yankees and the Yankee race.”—Edmund Ruffin, Confederate Sympathizer

 

Republicanism or democracy has nothing to do with it; it is from the fact that these people believe they have been plundered by him [Reconstruction Era Northern Republican representative of black political rights], and their property has been attempted to be confiscated by him; that he has undertaken his way to make a serfdom of this country. — B. W. Marston, white Louisiana Planter5

 

We see this sort if insane refusal to see the truth in many of the GOP and Tea Party attacks on President Obama and liberal government officials in general. Gun sales are through the roof, hate groups are expanding, and conservative white males are seeing themselves as an “oppressed minority”. This echoes the (albeit much more extreme) reaction of white southerners to reconstruction policies. The Klan rose, militias formed, and violent and paranoid screeds were written by white southerners who saw the expansion of political rights to an oppressed people as an attack on their inherent supremacy. Equality is servitude to a person or a group used to institutional and cultural hegemony. There is even a rise in people who insist that Federal debt makes “everyone” a slave…and by “everyone” we should read “white people”. Because it is one thing to have blacks and women in servitude…but when white MEN are put upon, well then there is tyranny afoot!

The white south has not really ever gotten over Reconstruction, The Civil War, or the Civil Rights era of the mid-20th century. The election of a black President who dared to continue left of center solutions to problems brought about largely by right of center-mistakes is a bridge too far for many conservative whites who feel like they have “suffered” enough equality and diversity. The big change is that now the southern white male mentality has been scattered across the country like a seed pod smashes open in the midst of a gust of wind. How else do you explain Confederate flags on bumpers in Dekalb, Illinois and  hung from the porch in Allentown, Pennsylvania? Now every white man (and the deluded women who support them) can buy into the “lost cause” of the late Confederacy; the south will rise again all over the nation but this time it will come through SEC football, gay-bashing, and eliminating the minimum wage and welfare. One of the popular prophets of the new post-geographical South is Glenn Beck and he sees neo-reconstructionism behind every bush and in every law

 

“The health care bill is reparations. It’s the beginning of reparations.”6

 

What can be more terrifying to a conservative white man then the idea that his hard earned money will go to pay for the sins (and they were not that terrible, those sins, anyway) of their forefathers? Everything is reconstruction program today: food-stamps, welfare, unemployment insurance, even Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security. Never mind that the vast majority of these services go to poor whites; there may be a black person taking advantage of “our” money somewhere! The money “we” gave them! Because everything that black Americans have is the result of white largess apparently. Remember, it was the slave owners who taught black a “work ethic” and “clothed and fed them” during slavery, at least according to the men and women desperately clinging to respectability in the reconstruction era and today on the revisionist history sites and pro-south “cultural” groups and even in the state legislature of a “modern” southern state

 

So, also, as society advanced and the human race multiplied in the earth, the idleness of some, the incapacity of others, and the vices of a still greater number, would lead to greater inequalities.”– George W. Freeman, pro-slavery orator7

 

“…the institution of slavery that the black race has long believed to be an abomination upon its people may actually have been a blessing in disguise. The blacks who could endure those conditions and circumstances would someday be rewarded with citizenship in the greatest nation ever established upon the face of the Earth.”—Rep. Jon Hubbard, Alabama legislature and author of Letters to the Editor, Confessions of a Frustrated Conservative8

 

If I didn’t make it clear would anyone be able to guess that which speaker lived in the 19th century and which the 21st? During reconstruction society was treated to dozens, hundreds of political cartoon lampooning black legislators and voters, and degrading black men and women in general. They are shown as chimpanzees, drunkards, and corrupt. The modern day “Tea Party” movement supplies us with surprisingly familiar racially charged and outright racist sentiments mostly consisting of, but not limited to, attacks on our first (half-black) president

 

Obama’s Plan: White Slavery

 

                Obama Loves Taxes [sic] Bankrupts USA

 

                Congress = Slave Owner Taxpayer = [misspelled racial slur]9

 

Perhaps not up to the quality of 19th century political cartoon art, but it gets the job done.                Confront any Tea Party supporting person on these signs or on the persistent and revoltingly xenophobic racist meme that President Obama was born in the African nation of Kenya and you get a litany of excuses ranging from the usual “this is not representative” to “well I have never seen or heard people say these things”. Given the prevalence of these signs and the Obama as Kenya usurper myth this assertion does not pass the smell test. In fact according to a CBS news Poll 45% of Republicans and 45% of self-identified Tea Party supporters believed as recently as 2011 that President Obama was born in a country other than the US. I can bet you that most of these 45% where NOT black or liberal.10

While not exclusively southern anymore, the reaction against President Obama and his policies is has the unmistakable stench of racial animus and reactionary hatred for liberal/reconstructive policy and governance.

Another trope of reconstruction era southern prejudice has reemerged in the form of vilifying and belittling African American governmental figures in positions of power. The political spectacle involving the potential nomination of UN Ambassador Susan Rice is only the most recent example of this irrationality. With a new report now essentially confirming what was asserted by Rice and her associates at the UN and the State Department and the Obama Administration regarding the assassination of the US Ambassador to Libya, the criticism of this brilliant diplomat and policy analyst are revealed for what they are; attacks motivated by innate bigoted mistrust of black people in positions of authority

 

“If this select committee clears her of any wrongdoing, besides not being very bright, because it was obvious that this was not a quote ‘flash mob,’ there was no demonstration, Charlie…”—Sen. John McCain 11

 

Not very bright? This is a strange thing for a Senator to say about a woman who runs the American mission to the United Nations and who was also a Rhodes Scholar. There really is no other valid excuse for this slander, especially when considered upon the other baffling and often racially tinged attacks upon other black Obama administration officials such as Eric Holder, Shirley Sherrod the Georgia State Director of Rural Development for the United States Department of Agriculture, the first Lady Michelle Obama, and Van Jones, special Executive Branch Advisor for Green Job initiatives. Secretary Holder and Mrs. Obama in particular have been ravaged in conservative circles; the former being decried as a secret “black nationalist” and corrupt scam artist and the latter with horrid racist stereotypes of black women that have not been aired so blithely in public media and discussion since the reconstruction era. In no other administration have black appointees and officials been subject to such constant vitriolic and often un-warranted criticism.

Compare to the invective heaped upon black legislators and officials in the Reconstruction era South, with irate southern whites accusing blacks of stealing tax money, abusing their authority and even (if the political cartoons are to be believes) drinking while on the job. Of course these myths are just that; the period was no more or less corrupt than any other, and perhaps it was less so considering for the first and only time the full force of the US Government and Military stood behind local democratic processes12.  The Obama administration and its policies also give conservative whites an opportunity to criticize the idea of representative democracy itself, with commentators ranging from pundits to former rock stars calling for poll taxes, poll tests, and the invalidity of elections that benefit people other than white conservative males. The sentiments expressed are reminiscent of southern apologists throughout American history

 

“[Southern Reconstruction] was government by the most ignorant and vicious part of the population for the benefit, the vulgar, materialistic, brutal benefit of the governing set.”— John W. Burgess, Columbia University Professor13

 

A black President and a liberal leaning government gives white conservatives the excuse to complain about views on things like government spending, government debt, and restriction to gun rights that have been imposed and proposed by Republican Presidents from Eisenhower to Reagan to the second President Bush. The REAL problem this time around is not debt or government spending (these problems existed to even a greater extent under Republican heroes like Reagan) but the fact that the current President dealing with these problems is a darker shade than most white conservatives are comfortable with. Why else would they complain NOW about problems that have been around for decades if not generations? Because the white south sees a black face implementing reform and new ideas, and a black face dealing with the issues that threaten society and government, it is now means that “they” are after them again, “they” will take away what “they” deserve. “They” will take away the power and authority their white skin has given them for far too long. This may not be a period of full reconstruction (we can only hope such an era returns) but it is a time when non-white, non-conservatives voices finally have a say in how we solve the problems facing this nation. That is just a bit too much to bear for the cultural and intellectual heirs of those who once fought a losing battle over a horrid atrocity.

 

***

 

Citations (forgive the numbers on the bottom, I had a problem with my word processor. Refer to the numbers closest to the citation)

 

  1. Excerpt from John Hope Franklin, ed. Reminiscenses of an Active Life: The Autobiography of John Roy Lynch. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1970. Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/reconstruction/activism/ps_lynch.html
  2. Ibid
  3. http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2012/spring/the-year-in-hate-and-extremism
  4. http://www.salon.com/2013/01/11/tennessee_suspends_james_yeagers_handgun_carry_permit/
  5. from Testimony of B.W. Marston Re: The Coushatta Affair. House Reports, 44th Congress, 1st Session, No. 816, 645-727. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/reconstruction/kkk/ps_marston.html
  6. [The Glenn Beck Program, 7/22/09] retrieved from http://colorlines.com/archives/2010/08/glennys_greates_racist_hits.html
  1. 7. The Rights and Duties of Slaveholders: Two Discourses Delivered on Sunday, November 27, 1836, in Christ Church, Raleigh, North-Carolina, By George W. Freeman, retrieved from http://www1.assumption.edu/users/lknoles/douglassproslaveryargs.html
  2. 8.       Letters to the Editor, Confessions of a Frustrated Conservative, Pages 183-89, quote retrieved from http://www.examiner.com/article/arkansas-rep-claims-slavery-was-good-for-black-people
  3. 9.       http://www.motherjones.com/slideshows/2010/09/tea-partys-racist-signs/niggar and http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/16/10-most-offensive-tea-par_n_187554.html
  4. 10. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20056061-503544.html
  5. 11. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/get-it-straight-john-mccain-did-say-susan-rice-was-not-very-bright/
  6. 12. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/reconstruction/plantation/sf_myths.html#e
  7. 13. John W. Burgess, Reconstruction and the Constitution, 1866-1876 (Harvard University, 1905), 264-5, retrieved from http://www.shmoop.com/reconstruction/citations.html#37

 

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Alternate History, Bailout, Conservatism, Conservatives, Janesville, Lie, Paul Ryan, Politics, RNC

Ryan Lies AGAIN…

In his convention speech tonight, VP Nominee Paul Ryan claimed that a GM autoplant in his hometown of Janesville was closed because of President Obama’s policies. This turns out not to be true, and Ryan even admitted he knew this was not true ON HIS OWN CONGRESSIONAL WEBPAGE. I found the link on twitter, and went to it, and indeed it is a blurb about a letter he sent to the GM CEO asking him not to close the plant down as the announcement was made in June 2008 that it would be closed. I am sure this will soon be scrubbed, so I have the screen shot for you, along with the link to the page itself. Ryan’s speech was full of lies, but this is easily the most simple to disprove

http://paulryan.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=200270


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abortion, Christianity, Civil rights, Conservatism, Conservatives, Death, extremism, GOP, News, Paul Ryan, Pro-Life, Religion, Sex, Todd Akin, Women

Legitimate Insanity

Todd Akin is not the problem. He is the symptom. The disease is the conservative American obsession with abortion, sexual violence, reproductive health, and equal rights. Most Americans see these issues as important and essential elements of a healthy society. “Pro-Life” Americans see these issues as one issue: the unborn, and how they may be protected from the feminist inspired evils of their mothers desires and intentions. Rape in the pro-life community is not a crime to be prosecuted and an evil to be fought and condemned: it is an opportunity to bring “new life” into the world. In the pro-life mind, there is no such thing as sexual violence. If a woman is raped it is not something to be talked about or dealt with. It is a chance to educate that poor, slutty woman about the consequences of “her” actions. Former Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle summed up this point of view quite succinctly:

  “I think that two wrongs don’t make a right… look for some alternatives…[turn] a lemon situation into lemonade.”

 

Life is a means unto itself, that is, potential life. Once that life has entered the world the shame begins: shame that this life was brought into the world by a single mother, shame that it is poor or in need of welfare services, shame that it will be going to a godless public school, and if it is unfortunate to be born a female, shame on it for needing reproductive health services along with a natural desire for sexual fulfillment. Once that life is shepherded into the world by the pro-life Pretorian Guard it is immediately abandoned as yet another leech upon the liberty and the wealth of “job creating” and “hard working” Americans. And God help you if you are born anything but white.

In the eyes of the pro-life movement a woman is nothing more than a baby-incubating system at best, and a male-controlled sexual object at worst. Her sexuality is not her own. Hence the idea of “legitimate rape”.

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Akin is only the most recent pro-life zealot to put forth this repugnant idea. “Legitimate rape” is a conservative idea that is used as a tool against women who have the audacity to be attacked by a man. The man is never at fault, at least not past the basic taboo against violence. He is merely acting out on his “natural” male inclinations. On the other hand, if a woman is raped it is only because she failed at some level. No “good” woman will ever be in a situation where she will be raped. No “good” woman is ever out of sight of a protective male authority figure, be it a father, brother, platonic boyfriend, or possessive husband. And remember, once she is married, a woman cannot be raped, at least by the man who is most likely to rape her: her husband.

These twisted views of sexual violence are being promoted as a new legal standard for all women. Akin authored and sponsored HR 3, co-sponsored by newly minted Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan, a bill that would redefine rape in a much more restrictive sense, only recognize rape as something that happens in a dark alley against a somehow “deserving” woman, and goes out of its way to protect the REAL victim of the assault: the unborn child. Yes, the real crime here is committed by the misguided little woman who wants to abort the fetus forcibly put into her by a man who decided he wanted to violate her. Remember, “life” and all that. No thought is given to the life of the woman who is actually alive and legally protected by the Constitution and US laws. A woman is worth less than a bundle of cells or a rice grain sized fetus in the pro-life world. And a newly born child immediately loses its holy aura and becomes yet another sinner and potential violator of the “rights” of the unborn. The fetus becomes a super-citizen: it has all the rights that human beings should have, and more besides. It has the “right” to live at the expense of its own mother.

Fundamentalist Christianity is at the heart of this macabre fetal recreation of the crucifixion: the woman is impregnated by the legitimizing paternal force, be it the husband or the rapist, and the highest ideal of the mother after this event is to die in the service of giving life to the fetus. Woman who die giving birth are called “heroes” and “true mothers” and their fates are held up as the ultimate feminine ideal. Think of that, a woman’s worth is defined by her ability to die for a baby that she may not even have wanted! What does that mean for the women whose pregnancies end in a miscarriage? Has she “failed” as a women then? Sadly, this is inevitably the case: if your only worth as a human being is as a living breathing nest for the holy fetus, then what else do you have to live for? Life itself becomes meaningless, only an end, and for a woman life only has meaning as far as the paternal authorities define and allow for. And invariably, they will define that life as subordinate to the male concern of “being fruitful” and filling the Earth with more and more and more and more life. God’s will be done, I suppose.

This, I believe, is legitimate insanity.

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2012 Election, abortion, Bigotry, Conservatism, Conservatives, GOP, Politics, racism, Religion, Republicans, right wing, Rights, Romney, Satire, Socialism, Women

Right Wing Delusion Glossary

I have been around the political block a few times in my short time in this planet. I am only in my late 20’s and I have still heard the same right wing tropes and theories over and over again. But sometimes the right wingers get embarrassed at their own ignorance and hate, ans they attempt to disguise their true feelings and beliefs with coded language. I am here to let you in on the biggest open secrets in the political world. No need to thank me, just be sure to call your conservative friends and family members on their BS when you hear it spewed.

“Welfare Queen”: An African American woman who has the audacity to collect legal and needed welfare services. In the mind of a conservative this means that she has 18 children by 18 different fathers, and owns a big screen tv and a Cadillac. Why is it always these two things? Can’t they update their racist stereotypes to include LCD screens and maybe a Chevy Volt?

“Socialist”: Synonymous with “Nazi”, “communist” or “statist”. A socialist is anyone who thinks that the country in any way needs an overhaul in the way it handles the economy or welfare services i.e. regulating the market or making life easier for the working poor. Can also mean this person advocates “reeducation camps”, “Sharia law” and “government tyranny”.

“Tyranny”: The act of doing anything that offends conservative sensibilities. This can be anything from taxing businesses and individuals to mandating a waiting period for the assault rifle you want to buy. Also, whatever President Obama does in his capacity as Chief Executive and Commander in Chief.

“Multiculturalism”: Any attempt by anyone to make sure that cultures other than white, christian, conservative, straight male points of view are discussed or celebrated or respected in public. Example: “Damn multiculturalism teaching my kids that A-rabs invented algebra! Next they’ll say that pasta is Chinese!”

“Race Hustler”: An African American (usual a man) who has the audacity to point out the inequality inherent to American society, and the white privilege that permeates our culture, economy, and government. Also, anyone who attempts to appeal to the African American community as a political interest group. Also, any African American man who has succeeded in politics or government who has not explicitly condemned other African Americans for…something?

“Terrorism”: A violent incident, always perpetrated by Muslims, that leads to the death of mostly white people. . Example: A Neo-Nazi shooting up a Sikh Temple and killing 6 is not terrorism…One man being shot in the arm at the Family Research Council HQ, damn that is the next 9/11! Also, any action taken by a liberal group or person to protest a conservative idea or group.

“Liberty”: The right of a white male to do what he pleases, when he pleases, without reference or concern for anyone else. Example: “Damn government is attacking my liberty to charge my employees for parking in our lot when they come to work! Dang socialists!”

“Freedom”: A much more nebulous term. Can mean anything from waving an American flag to buying a gas-guzzling car. That vague feeling conservatives have when they see American soldiers in a desert nation or see B2 bombers flying overhead at an overpriced sporting event. Also, anything relating to the response to, and aftermath of, the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

Sharia Law”: Muslim Americans wanting to be able to build a mosque in their community or otherwise freely worship as do Christians and Jews. The nebulous concern that somehow in a nation that bans crosses on public land we will somehow have to answer to non-existent Iranian style Islamic courts. Also, strangely, any ruling in a US court that favors religious freedom, especially for Muslims or atheists for some reason.

“Real Americans”: White, Christian, straight male American citizens who vote for the Republican party and live in states not on either the west coast or the North Eastern coast. Can be extended to include stay at home mothers, conservatives christian women, conservative christian African Americans (provided they have NEVER used welfare or any other government service) and and some single women (provided they do not have a child out of wedlock and has NEVER used welfare or any other government service).

“Reverse Racism”: Any instance when a white, usually male, Christian American Citizen does not get what he wants, has to respect the rights of minorities, or believes in his mind that some opportunity was taken from him by a “minority” i.e. “Affirmative Action”. Example: “Damn government with their hate crime laws! There ain’t no hate crime laws for white people!” OR “Damn affirmative action, made it so that black guy got the job I wanted!” Also, anytime when a member of a racial or other minority group dares to complain about racism in American society or government. Also, the fact that it is now frowned upon to use racial slurs or tell racially tinged jokes.

“Homosexual Agenda”: Any school or government agency/service that dares to acknowledge or celebrate LGBTQ people, accomplishments, ideas, or rights. Also, any open display of affection between two men, or less often, two women. Also, the fear of closeted gay conservative christian men that they will be outed and have their masculinity doubted.

“The Civil War Was Not About Slavery”: African Americans need to stop complaining about the 400 years of inhumane treatment and depraved genocidal acts committed against them by whites and the American government.

“America Is a Christian Nation”: Someone who has never read an American history book, any of the founding documents, or any of the Supreme Court rulings of the past century and a half. Also, the need for an white male christian American to have his own personal morality enshrined in national laws.

“Chicago Style Politics/Politician: The belief that any government that has a large number or majority of African American and/or liberal and/or union member participants is inherently corrupt. The belief that the way politics were conducted in the uber-corrupt 1920’s and 1930’s is how politics is done today everywhere in Chicago and in the state of Illinois. A politician who stands up for minorities and the working poor, or who wins in a close election or uses tactics that conservatives often use to get elected.  Also, President Barack Obama.

“Pro-Life”: The belief that women who want to control their reproductive system are sluts, whores, and/or evil. The belief that a bundle of cells or a zygote is the legal and moral equivalent of a American citizen, or in the case of a pregnant woman, the legal and moral superior. Also, the worship of a fetus as an icon of purity and inherent goodness.

“Feminazi”: A woman who does not believe that men are inherently superior. A woman who dares to stand up to a man or a patriarchal institution. A woman who acknowledges that women in general are accorded the same rights and opportunities, or given the same respect, as men in American Society, economy, and government. A liberal woman. A single woman who enjoys sex. A single woman who wants to be able to use birth control. A woman who believes that equal rights and opportunity should be enshrined in law. A woman who disagrees with Rush Limbaugh.

“Liberal”: All that is evil, perverted, corrupt, indecent, wicked, or otherwise wrong with the world.

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That’s it for now folks, but I do believe I will be returning to this subject later: the coded language of the conservative movement is always expanding and updating! I’ll keep you posted.

p.s. Thanks to “Vicki” for the typo wrangling!

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