What I am about to tell you is top-secret and may get lead to me being found bound, gagged, and beaten in the alley behind a Olive Garden: white guys are idiots. I should know because I am one. Well I am ¾ of one…my father is half Ecuadorian and I have spent my entire life wishing I was as well. Of course there are endless benefits to being a white male in US society…I am not pulled over in my car for being a certain color, I will never be stopped and frisked in NYC, I will always have a leg up over almost anyone in a job search situation. Oh, and my ilk have controlled 97% of government since the beginning of our Democratic Republic. I recognize my privilege and cannot really imagine what it would be like to live without it…but I am not conceited enough to think that it is good that I have this privilege. I am a liberal, atheist, feminist, unemployed, LGBT loving, gun hating white male. Next to a Cubs World Series win I am the rarest thing that can be found in the Midwest where I was born and raised. I want to make it so that my future nephews and possibly children never GET to experience that privilege. I want them to experience the world as MLK wished it to be, and I want them to be judged on the content of their character. Not the melanin content of their skin. That future is a long way off but I feel that future gets closer every time a white guy wakes up and realizes how fucking easy they have it and how wrong that is. It is a small contribution to making the world a better place but it is a positive step I believe.
Why are white guys idiots? That would be because so many of them act like victims. This is not apparent in everyday life with every white guy, of course, but being a white guy myself I am often inadvertently mistaken for a member of this “fraternity”. You would (not) be surprised by what many white guys say when they think they are among fellow white men who agree with them. I wrote a blog entry months ago about a pawn shop owner I know who always sees fit to share with me his disgusting views about how women should be subservient to men in every aspect of life. Well that is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to white guys assuming I am “on their side” because I share their skin hue.
I have been told that all politicians, especially Obama, Jesse Jackson, MLK and Malcolm X are/were “race hustlers”. This is angry/scared white guy code for “they point out that white men exploit everyone else”. I have been lectured at about how white Christian men are the REAL victims of racism because some friend of someone’s dad once knew a guy who’s coworker didn’t get a promotion because of “affirmative action”. It is also apparently “racist” towards whites to ban the KKK while not banning the NAACP. Really. I have actually been told this before by a person who I assume was not intoxicated. I have also been told that women are paid MORE than men, not less, that rape accusations are just another way to control men, and that women abuse men at a greater rate than men to women. Seriously. Oh and it gets better!
According to scared white men I have met “homosexual activists” run the NFL, the MLB and of course MLS. And don’t even get them STARTED on Hollywood! I have been told that that “democrat [sic]” party is the party of lazy black people and “sluts”, that the military is controlled by the illuminati and that every gun massacre in the past 20 years was staged by liberals to take away white men’s guns. According to terrified white men all black women are on welfare and all victims of violent crime are white. All taxes are paid by white men, and all wealth comes from white men as well. Oh and history is only ever made by white men. If you are told otherwise this is just the ACLU out to corrupt your mind with multi-culturalism. Oh and according to shivering and hysterical white men it is possible to fight off the coming “tyranny” of the federal guv’ment with a 12 gage and an AR-15.
Everything I just related was actually said to me, face to face, within the past year. I expressed my disgust at the time to everything that was told to me, and I was able to refute all these disgusting memes with barely any effort at all, but this only served to entrench them in their views. I was just a” tool” of women/gays/ACLU/Communists/Blacks/Hispanics/Big Bird. I may LOOK like a white guy, but as soon as I open my mouth and disagree with their fever dreams I become one of the “other”. And you know what? That is just fine by me. I would rather be hated by those who hate then loved by those who cannot find it within themselves to love.
Oh…and my new favorite weird white-guy-ism of the night comes from former Senator, and drunk tweeter, Scott Brown: Bqhatevwr.