URGENT: FROM THE DESK OF MIKE LINDELL
HELLO AMERICA, THIS IS MIKE LINDELL, MAKER OF THE BEST PILLOWS AND TOWELS IN THE WORLD IF YOU DON’T COUNT ALL THOSE COMMUNIST ONES FROM WALMART OR KOHLS
(NOTE FROM SITE EDITOR: to avoid any conflict of interest, it IS true that I was given a pack of MYPILLOW towels by my VERY Republican in laws and it IS true that the towels were in fact “better than useless” at cleaning up the area around my cat’s litter box after she had a bout of the runs…but I only used them because I didn’t want to waste an entire roll of generic paper towels)
MY SOURCES AMONG THE 50 MILLION ABORTED US FETUSES IN HEAVEN AS WELL AS MY BEST POWDER DEALER PSYCHOX5IVE HAVE TOLD ME THAT THE TIME IS RIPE FOR ANOTHER LAWSUIT TO SAVE AMERICA FROM THE MUSLIM COMMUNIST BABY KILLERS WHO HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. DOMINON SYSTEMS WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM WHEN I REVEAL MYLAWSUIT (TM) TO THE WORLD TODAY. IN IT, YOU WILL SEE
- QUOTES FROM BOOKS I’VE NEVER READ AND COULD NOT UNDERSTAND IF I DID
- COPPIUSS SPELING ARRORS
- LEGAL CITATIONS THAT ARE IN FACT LINKS TO RANDOM WIKIPEDIA PAGES (EX. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_cocaine)
- THE HIT SONG RICO SUAVE
- A COUPON CODE TO SAVE YOU 30% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER OF MYCRACKTOWEL (TM) COCAINE-SWEATS WIPES
- EVVEN MOARE SPELLINGG ARROWS
- SOME BULLSHIT ABOUT LONG DEAD VENEZUELAN LEADER HUGO CHAVEZ
- AND SO MUCH MORE!!!
FINALLY, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY BENEFACTOR, MY FRIEND, AND MY FAVORITE SEX TRAFFIKER DONALD TRUMP FOR DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN BETWEEN SPRAY TANS AND ADDERAL BINGES TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. GOD WILLIING HE WILL SOON BE PRESIDENT AGAIN AND FOREVERMORE! NOW ON TO CHICAGO SO WE CAN WIN THIS THING!
L'Ennemi 